DIVINE GRACE

I can feel a bit conflicted when people tell me that my sufferings have done them good. They even say that my experiences have led to their comfort and hope in God.

CHRONIC AFFLICTION

I must admit that I feel chronically afflicted. I have a chronic litany of woes:

• headaches 24/7/365 (due to virus-caused nerve damage 35 years ago). 
• painful arthritic hips and hands.
• several herniated and bulging discs causing severe back pain and prohibiting any kind of healthy walking.
• cervicofacial actinomycosis, a long-lasting (17 months so far), rare, and extremely painful jawbone disease that requires constant 24/7 intravenous treatments.
• stage four cancer for the past two and a half years, with a very uncertain sobering prognosis and life-altering treatment side effects. 
• lots of relational, psychological, and spiritual pain to go with all these other sorrows

I feel like the embodiment of weakness. I am what chronic weakness looks like in the flesh—which is what makes paragraph one so mystifying.

FINDING GOOD IN MY HEADACHE

Many people have told me that my years-long headache has led them to comfort and hope in God. How has that happened? 

People often approach me, saying: Tim, I had a bad headache this week, which made me think about you. (Side note: what am I to make of that? Apparently, Tim and headaches go together in people’s minds. I hope it isn’t that when people get a headache, it reminds them that Tim is one!)

Seriously, I know where they are going as soon as I hear those words because people almost always add: and when I had my severe headache, it made me think of your 35-year-long headache…and of God’s grace that has enabled you to keep on going, despite the pain. Then, I knew God could get me through my pain, too. 

So, it seems God’s sustaining grace in my pain leads people to hope in that same grace. That is a humbling life calling.

MY PAIN AND GOD'S SUSTAINING GRACE

When my life is assessed on the Last Day, I am pretty sure my 40 years of preaching, my supposed brilliant programs, or my alleged dynamic leadership will not be the most impactful things remembered. What will be most remembered is my pain—and God’s sustaining grace in that pain. Most people won’t remember that I was a pastor so much as a sufferer—and that God was and is a sustainer.

My life faintly echoes the Apostle Paul’s: But he said to me, ”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

I hesitate to claim Paul’s faith because I don’t always feel ready to boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses. I am not always happy and smiling. Far from it. Believe me, I didn’t wake up this morning saying, “Bring it on, suffering! You give me joy!”

DAILY GRIEF AND DIVINE GRACE

The truth is that I grieve every day. I long for the pain to be over. Like many of us, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I often wonder why?—and I often cry. Don’t we all? Which of us does not wish that all of life’s piercing thorns would be yanked right now? I sure do. I am no spiritual superman. I am weak in body, and I feel weak in spirit—even when I’m smiling.

Yet, there has been divine grace for all my daily grief. God has seen me through all the years of my suffering. Somehow, I made it through the last decades, years, months, weeks, and days. I did get through yesterday and then through last night, right on into this new morning. I got up to face another hard day today and still haven’t quit. All of which is to say that God’s sustaining grace has been enough.

So yes, that’s probably what I will be remembered for. “Tim Shorey? Wasn’t he the guy who was always hurting, always powerless, always experiencing some new trial, always facing the pains and sorrows of life, and always so very, very weak?” Yes, he was—but God…

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

• What is God's sustaining grace, and how does it apply to your chronic affliction?
• Can you think of someone whose grace-enabled endurance through trials has encouraged your faith? If so, would you consider letting them know and thanking them?
• Could your being affected by illness and pain have done others good? How does this impact the way you think about your suffering?
• Write a prayer to God thanking Him for His sustaining grace in your life. 

PRAYER

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that You will help us experience Your strength in our weakness. Help us to grow in our dependence on You and in our confidence that You will sustain us through all we face. Help us keep going through our chronic sorrows to honor Your name. In Jesus’ name, amen,

INVITATION

Check out Chronic Joy’s Pain’s Greater Purpose printable for more inspiration and comfort. It details how pain can help us—and then can help us help others through our stories of God’s grace.